Archive for March, 2008

I married a Zombie!

March 15, 2008

     I was just an average guy looking for love/ Never thought I could meet a gal like this/ Knew she was something different from the start/ Thought she was so shy and demure/ Her passion caught me by surprise/ Had to have her so we wed/ On our honeymoon night I found much to my surprise—–I married a Zombie!/ Zombie-zombie zombie-zombie lovin’ makes me feel alright!/ Zombie-zombie zombie-zombie lovin’ is love with a bite!/ Now all my friends and family think I’m insane/ But I don’t give a damn/ For now I am a happy happy man because/ I married a Zombie!     My wife makes my life complete/ I don’t care if she’s out eatin’ other guys/ With me she never takes a bite/ Some may ask how I can love a ghoul/ With all her gruesome tastes/ I just shine them on/ For I know they’re jealous because—–I married a Zombie!/ Zombie-zombie  zombie-zombie lovin’ makes me feel alright!/ Zombie-zombie zombie-zombie lovin’ is love with a bite!/ Now all my friends and family think I’m insane/ But I don’t give a damn/ For now I am a happy happy man because/ I married a Zombie! 

War is really inconvenient.

March 1, 2008

     It is fair to say most Americans are uncomfortable talking about The War Where Guys Got Their Penises Shot Off. Veterans of that conflict are reluctant to talk and parents and loved ones would rather change the subject. Back then, some men eagerly volunteered for The War Where Guys Got Their Penises Shot Off. Some men were reluctant and only went when drafted and still others fled to other countries to avoid The War Where Guys Got Their Penises Shot Off. Politicians prided themselves for either supporting or dissenting against The War Where Guys Got Their Penises Shot Off. After it ended, many felt these veterans were not shown the same respect as men who had fought in what was thought to be a nobler conflict, The War Where Guys Were Kicked in the Balls Really Hard. To this day most cannot agree on whether we should have fought The War Where Guys Got Their Penises Shot Off. You will never see a movie that honestly deals with The War Where Guys Got Their Penises Shot Off. Many veterans say their families treat them differently and their wives say it has effected their marriages. Slowly attitudes are changing and one day a man may be elected President who was a veteran of The War Where Guys Got Their Penises Shot Off.