Archive for April, 2009

I Lost My Heart, Then I Lost My Mind

April 25, 2009

     Why do you think you’re here, sir? Because I’m confused. Well, why are you confused? I suppose it’s because I’m in love. That’s not unusual, it happens all the time. Now tell me why you would be brought to this facility for observation? I’m an angel and for me falling in love is unusual. If you are an angel, then where are your wings? It’s a common misconception that angels have wings. We do fly, although I prefer not to. Why? You tend to miss a lot up there, that’s why I like to walk instead. It may take longer to get where you are going, but at least the trip is more interesting. Just out of curiosity, how many angels can dance on the head of a pin? Three thousand and seventy-eight and they were dancing a waltz. It was quite lovely. Uh huh. I don’t see a name listed on your admission papers. What is your name, sir? Angel. We’re all known as ‘Angel’. There are so many of us that it would be hard to remember who’s who if we each had a different name. Of course, the archangels have names, but they’re special. It must lead to some confusion. I’ve never had a problem. Uh huh. Is the bible the word of God? It’s a good starting point, but a lot is open to interpretation. Fortunately, ‘the one we all serve’ is always there to show the way. Always there? Yes, sometimes we choose not to hear, but the answer is always there. How do we know if it’s the right or wrong answer. There’s only the answer. All you have to do is listen. Fascinating. You don’t seem confused to me. I can’t say if I believe all you’ve told me, but I can tell you believe it. May I ask a question? Yes, what is it? Why are you wearing those red shoes? They are a gift from one of the women I’m in love with. Seeing me wear them makes her smile and she has such a lovely smile. You’re in love with more than one woman? I’m in love with two women to be exact. That doesn’t seem like angel-like behavior. That’s why I’m confused. Please explain. I was doing as I had for ages, serving ‘the one’, when I came upon a woman, then another, each carrying enough emotional baggage to crush a man, but that was no problem for an angel. So you helped them? Yes, the one I called ‘She’s a Mystery’ had such low self-esteem that over the years she allowed numerous men to abuse her again and again. It was a mystery to me why such a beautiful free spirit would let this happen to her. The other woman I knew as ‘She Needed to be Adored’ had nearly died of an illness as a child and afterwards clung to everything in her life as if it would vanish if she didn’t. This meant  for years she endured a brutal relationship with a man and feared growing older. But as I listened to her and reassured her, those fears lessened and that lovely smile grew brighter and brighter. Both women were exquisite in their own way and possessed such loving qualities, but they just could not see that until I opened their eyes and hearts. I suppose only an angel could undo the damage others had done and as these women began to emerge from the darkness, I found myself falling in love. How did you know? When I was not with them I felt a terrible emptiness, and when I was with them I felt joy unknown. Yes, very un-angel-like. I was there to help them and now I was behaving very selfishly, I couldn’t understand why this was happening. What did you do? I tried to leave them, but after a few days I was back and the happiness in their eyes upon my return made it impossible for me to leave again. All this had to be happening for a reason, nothing an angel does happens without one. This confusion led me to wander the streets calling for an answer. To those around me, this seemed like crazy behavior. That’s how I came to be here. Very interesting. I still don’t believe you’re an angel, but I don’t think you’re confused anymore, are you? No. You know what the answer is. Yes, I know what I have to do, what I was meant to do. I can tell you now, since you have been confined here, two women have come every day waiting patiently until they can see you. Angel, why are you crying now? Because they do need me.